Badlands Update #8: Not a Cruise Ship, Not Prison—Somewhere in Between
Hey Badlanders! (Runners, Volunteers, and rando's I've decided should get this email)
Let’s talk about the real reason we run Ultras...
Not mileage. Not “the challenge.” It’s probably not even the $10K in giveaways and prizes.
Food. Simple as that.
Before anyone shows up expecting a 5-star tasting menu curated by yours truly—this is a trail race, not a cruise ship. That said… we’re not exactly feeding you like prisoners either.
Since we’re not a restaurant, there are no Yelp reviews. If you ask a volunteer for the manager, they’ve been given very clear instructions: politely ask you to pack sand and show you our favorite on-brand hand gesture.
This is runner support: we’ll keep you fueled, semi-functional, and pointed toward the finish line. The only difference is we’re aiming to execute it exceptionally well for a race of this distance.
If this whole operation collapses into chaos and the only surviving record is a crumpled note that reads, “They fed them suspiciously well for a 50K,” we’ll consider that mission accomplished.
....But... we'll probably botch it so don't get your hopes up.
7PM – PRE-RACE DINNER (The Calm Before the Weird)
Most races hand you a banana and point you toward the woods.
We’re doing a family dinner.
At 7PM, we’re firing up burgers at the Start/Finish for runners, volunteers, crew—everyone.
(Yes, vegan too. Everyone relax. )
Ground Rules:
Eat like you have to move later
Don’t experiment—this is not your culinary awakening
Hydrate like an adult
If you crush 4 burgers before the race starts, I'll put you on the short list for Dr. Kristy to watch during the race.
DURING THE RACE – START/FINISH & AID STATIONS
START / FINISH (The Promised Land) - PRE-RACE BREAKFAST for Daybreak 50K!
This is your main hub. If you have cravings, regrets, or emotional needs, handle them here.
7PM – 3AM – Burgers rolling for the Night Owls.
3AM – 10AM – Breakfast shift. Scrambled eggs and sausage (vegan, too) until we run out. Local Hartland chickens are donating 10 dozen... if that's not enough... oh well. Maybe we buy more when the stores open.
Some of you will be finishing the NIGHTFALL 50K.
Some of you will be deep in the OVERNIGHT 100K wondering... why do people do this?
Some of you will be showing up fresh for the DAYBREAK 50K. Come a little early and have breakfast on us!
After 10AM – Back to burgers for the duration of the event.
McDonald's has done the proper market research so we're just following their lead.
TRAILHEAD (Simple. Efficient. No Drama.)
Classic grab-and-go survival stop:
Standard ultra snacks + hot options
Hot options:
Oatmeal
Mashed potatoes
Cup of noodles
Broth (3 types)
Nothing fancy. Nothing confusing.
Eat. Drink. Leave.
OASIS (Same as Trailhead but with one addition)
Everything from TRAILHEAD plus:
Chili (vegan too, because we’re nothing if not consistent)
This is your mid-race gut check.
If you need something heavier to keep you alive—this is it. If you want something else, run back to the finish line to get it OR pull it MAGICALLY from your dropbag.
Final Thoughts (Read This Twice)
If you have very specific dietary needs → plan ahead
If you’ve never practiced fueling → you should have
If your strategy is “I’ll figure it out when I'm out there” → It's exactly how I operate so no judgement from me. Speaking from experience, it's not foolproof.
Just remember: You just need to get from point A to point B (and, actually... back to point A... it's a loop).
The Fine Print (Because We Have to Be Adults for a second and remind you that we are not a restaurant and that the food is complimentary, not a purchased item. It’s an important distinction (to the people with clipboards… and the ability to shut us down).
We’ll have a variety of complimentary food items available throughout the event for runners, volunteers, and crew. This is part of your race experience—not a restaurant, not a catered event, and not necessarily something to rely on as your sole fueling plan. Offerings will vary and are available while supplies last, so if you have specific dietary needs or a dialed-in nutrition strategy… stick to it. We’re here to support you. You’re responsible for not completely falling apart.
See you at dinner—dress appropriately. Try to make your mother proud. Mine will be there cooking for you poor souls, so try not to disappoint one or both of us.
As always, reach out with questions. If you’d rather be surprised on race day or you’ve decided trail running isn’t for you, tell me and I’ll take you off the list. Surprisingly I receive very few questions from you people. So either I've kept you very up to date or you're in for a rude awakening in what... 35 DAYS?!?
That’s all for now.
See you on the trails!
—J
